brandon graham is all of our DAD’s

“I’m not mad I’m just disappointed!”

BG prolly

When Brandon Graham speaks, the Eagles listen—whether they like it or not. The 35-year-old defensive end has made a career out of keeping quarterbacks in check, and now it seems he’s extending that discipline to his own teammates. Move over Sirianni, it’s Daddy Graham’s locker room now.

Appearing on WIP this Monday, Graham weighed in on the latest drama surrounding wide receiver A.J. Brown and quarterback Jalen Hurts. Brown, as we all know, expressed his constructive (read: blunt) thoughts about the team’s passing attack after Sunday’s win over the Panthers. But Daddy Graham wasn’t having any of it.

“The person that’s complaining needs to be accountable,” Graham said, channeling every dad who’s ever told his kids to stop fighting in the backseat. As if that wasn’t enough, he went full family counselor by dropping this nugget: “They were friends before this, but things have changed.”

Translation: “Y’all used to share your fries; now you’re arguing over who got next on the Playstation.”

This isn’t the first time Graham has stepped into the role of team patriarch. Graham’s style of leadership screams, Do as I say, not as I do. After all, he went on the radio live to say that everyone should keep the drama in the locker room and work it out amongst themselves. When it comes to keeping the peace, Graham’s got the same energy as a dad threatening to “turn this car around.”

The real kicker is that Graham’s critique of “personal stuff” getting in the way of football might just be the most Dad thing ever. He’s basically saying, I don’t care who started it; I’m ending it.

Eagles fans aren’t exactly thrilled about Graham airing the team’s dirty laundry on the radio—kind of like a kid cringing when their dad shares way too much at a parent-teacher conference. Sure, we all love Daddy Graham, but come on, does he have to tell the whole neighborhood that Jalen and A.J. aren’t getting along? Fans are collectively sinking in their seats like teenagers muttering, “Ugh, Dad, why do you have to be so embarrassing?”

So, as the Eagles prepare for Pittsburgh, let’s hope Brown and Hurts have worked things out. And if not, they can always count on Daddy Graham to bring out the ultimate dad move: the family meeting.

Let’s just pray it doesn’t end with “That’s it! Christmas is canceled!”